As my relationship with my Abba Father grows more intimate, I have been prompted to do some things that on the face of it appear to be pointless or even ridiculous, but have proven to be EXACTLY God's will! There was the time God prompted me to call someone and ask permission to be anointed for a relative. I was the last person who should have stood in that person's place - there were many others available. But God wanted the conversation started so I called. End result: someone who God is chasing chose to be anointed.
And the time I was awakened at 11:30 to pray for a baby in the hospital. In my mind, God placed an image of that baby needing an IV in the ankle and a nurse named Beth. Later I found out that indeed the baby did need the IV replaced in his ankle, and there was a nurse named Beth who cared for him. Beth did not do the new IV procedure. I'm not sure why I was praying for her.
What about the time I was prompted to pray a new diagnosis over a family suffering estrangement? The relationship began changing 3 hours later!!
This past weekend I was prompted by God to make a phone call to someone at 8:00 AM on a Saturday morning!!!?! I resisted that one for a minute or two, so afraid I would wake that person up on a day they get to sleep in.... The person didn't answer so I left a message. I'm not sure why I needed to make that call yet, but I know God has a reason.
It is EXCITING to see how God uses our obedience. I shared with my Sunday school class this morning that I wanted to purchase my boys something they all needed: shoes. But because our pay schedule has changed, things are a little different than a month ago. I needed to wait until the next payday. I wanted to be a good steward, yet my mommy's heart wanted to provide. I felt a peace that we could wait; then GOD PROVIDED! Somehow some money had fallen out of my wallet or gas envelope into my car. It was $8 over what I needed to get them new shoes. I know that God was rewarding my obedience in letting the situation wait.
God wants me to obey Him, not as a slave out of duty or obligation, but as His friend. More than anything, I want my Abba Daddy to say of me, "I call her friend..." John 15:11-15 (The Message) reads, "I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father."
I find that my joy is becoming wholly mature, that I love other people as God loves me, and that I know how to do these things because I've been let in on everything the Father told His Son as I read the Word more and more.
Pondering thought for the day: Are you able to hear your Abba Father's voice amongst the chatter of your children, the busyness of your day, the demands of life? Are you giving Him undivided time in your day?
I write this blog to share my "God Journey" and my learning curve in "Living Loved" in the hopes that it might draw others into this knowledge of God's love for them on an individual, personal level. Please feel free to comment!! I would love to discuss this more with you...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Trusting the Author of the Plan
As I start getting in touch with my feelings more and learning how to identify and communicate them, I'm learning to recognize more quickly the disconnect that happens when I start to shut down. For the past couple of weeks, I have felt disconnected from God, my husband, my kids.... so I started to look at what was going on. It is so much easier for me to withdraw than to vocalize it when I am feeling "bad." So.... then what? I began to pray and really search about what was going on for me spiritually.
I have been reading "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobsen since April. Yes, it is THAT good! The chapter I am in right now is titled "In the Darkest Moment...Trust." That is what I decided to do in April and I prayed through on that. Yet lately when I feel God is asking me to do something I absolutely NEVER imagined for myself, doubt has begun to creep in to my soul. Now, after everything he has brought me through, when suddenly I find myself unsure of what God wants me to do, I allowed myself to start doubting him. Why? Have his intentions towards me changed? No! Do I think that he has become unable to make sound plans? Would he ask me to do something that is wrong or that would cause me harm? No! By inserting himself between me and the cross, he has shown me his intense love for me. He wants me to reciprocate that love, and I can do that by trusting him.
Instead of doubting him, I should be assuming that his plans for me are beyond my expectations and even my ability to see and understand! When I can become trusting of him even in those times when I can't see him or understand his plan, then I can continue to walk with him. If I allow the doubts to overwhelm me, I create separation by my attitude of mistrust.
This principle was lived out fully in Jesus as he is was on the cross. When my sin overwhelmed Jesus so much that he could not sense his Father's presence, he cried out, "My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" Right there, in that very moment, Jesus was where I feel right now. When I feel overwhelmed, even consumed by my problems, fears, doubts, etc. I am tasting only the smallest portion of what Jesus felt on the cross.
But Jesus' example on the cross is one I need to follow. In his darkest moment of despair, in his perception of abandonment by his Father, when he felt God had turned away from him, he lived out his heart of trust that he had built through his love relationship with his Father. His dying words show me how to live: "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
If I am going to be like Jesus, then when I feel confusion, I will say, "Father, into your hands I commit my life plan." When fear for my kids begins to control my life, I will say, "Father, into your hands I commit my boys." When it is time to budget and pay the bills, I will say, "Father, into your hands I commit my finances." When I can't figure out what God is doing; when I've just messed up big time; when I'm lonely, empty and withdrawing; when I'm uncertain about my future; when I start thinking of "better ways;" the answer is always the same: "Into your hands, Abba Father, I commit my spirit, my life, my everything."
I have been reading "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobsen since April. Yes, it is THAT good! The chapter I am in right now is titled "In the Darkest Moment...Trust." That is what I decided to do in April and I prayed through on that. Yet lately when I feel God is asking me to do something I absolutely NEVER imagined for myself, doubt has begun to creep in to my soul. Now, after everything he has brought me through, when suddenly I find myself unsure of what God wants me to do, I allowed myself to start doubting him. Why? Have his intentions towards me changed? No! Do I think that he has become unable to make sound plans? Would he ask me to do something that is wrong or that would cause me harm? No! By inserting himself between me and the cross, he has shown me his intense love for me. He wants me to reciprocate that love, and I can do that by trusting him.
Instead of doubting him, I should be assuming that his plans for me are beyond my expectations and even my ability to see and understand! When I can become trusting of him even in those times when I can't see him or understand his plan, then I can continue to walk with him. If I allow the doubts to overwhelm me, I create separation by my attitude of mistrust.
This principle was lived out fully in Jesus as he is was on the cross. When my sin overwhelmed Jesus so much that he could not sense his Father's presence, he cried out, "My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" Right there, in that very moment, Jesus was where I feel right now. When I feel overwhelmed, even consumed by my problems, fears, doubts, etc. I am tasting only the smallest portion of what Jesus felt on the cross.
But Jesus' example on the cross is one I need to follow. In his darkest moment of despair, in his perception of abandonment by his Father, when he felt God had turned away from him, he lived out his heart of trust that he had built through his love relationship with his Father. His dying words show me how to live: "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
If I am going to be like Jesus, then when I feel confusion, I will say, "Father, into your hands I commit my life plan." When fear for my kids begins to control my life, I will say, "Father, into your hands I commit my boys." When it is time to budget and pay the bills, I will say, "Father, into your hands I commit my finances." When I can't figure out what God is doing; when I've just messed up big time; when I'm lonely, empty and withdrawing; when I'm uncertain about my future; when I start thinking of "better ways;" the answer is always the same: "Into your hands, Abba Father, I commit my spirit, my life, my everything."
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